Rare Breed!

April 29, 2008

Why the interest in personality types? Is it just some form of introspective navel gazing? Is it an excuse for inappropriate behaviour? I suppose it could be those things but let me tell you why I like discussions about personality types: they help me understand myself - why I’m more comfortable in the counselling room or one-on-one than in crowds, why I prefer a birthday party with my immediate family while my friend Connie puts on these incredibly successful dinner parties with a mix of people from various backgrounds and it works! Con the extrovert likes to be the centre of attention…and holds that position with grace and panache! She keeps the conversation going effortlessly. I like to observe, to listen, to be on the edge looking in and so love being invited. Understanding our differences helps me know why I love her without feeling pressured to be like her!

Understanding personality types helps immensely in marriage counselling. Knowing that someone’s personality includes attention to detail can be celebrated and household tasks needing this skill can be relegated to this person to do with ease and joy instead of delegating tasks based on cultural imperatives or unwritten family rules or the archaic prescriptive gender roles. Think about it…who should do the family finances - the charismatic, extrovert who loves spontaneity and lack of structure or the person who dreams in numbers (sensing) - loves researching options, and is systematic in their planning. Working together they can dream dreams that the extrovert leads while the sensor holds his/her anxiety in check and then the sensor takes the lead when figuring out how to accomplish and/or modify the plan. If this couple isn’t comfortable with their personality differences and doesn’t know how to use them to advantage…I see big fights happening every time the dreamer extrovert comes up with a new one and the sensor introvert hyperventilates with anxiety over how to keep the dreamer under control! Are you with me? What examples do you have from your marriage? (Note: No this will not become a pseudo Dr Phil blog!)

My Myers-Briggs personality type is INFJ - if you know what that means you can collectively say…Ahhh, now I understand her. I-Introvert, N-Intuitive, F-Feeling, J-Judging If you want to figure out your personality type go to: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes3.asp for a free self-test.
This is the description of my personality from http://typelogic.com/infj.html.
    Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists — INFJs gravitate toward such a role — are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

    INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of ‘poetic justice’ is appealing to the INFJ.

    “There’s something rotten in Denmark.” Accurately suspicious about others’ motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

    INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.

    Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

If you’re an INFJ let me know…we’re the rarest breed of personality types!

Entry Filed under: Personality types. Tags: .

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. joannek  |  May 8, 2008 at 12:23 am

    Hey…way to go with being the first in our family to have their own ‘permanent’ weblog. I know both you and Ruth have had temporary blogs before with mission trips…but this is a whole new level. Anyway, I enjoyed reading your first two posts! JoAnne

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